Now I am by no means boring and I clearly like a drink. But there is a point. A line in the sand if you will where you just dont cross it. X and Y crossed it at the bar. Let me set the scene. The specific town we are at is full of very rich very bland folks. Maybe some would say assholes but whatever. But what these rich bar goers found themselves tangled up in that night was a very bad episode of "Girls Gone Wild". Not their cup of tea for a night at the bar.
Anyhow, X and Y are sitting at the bar getting hammered and the stuff they were engaging in together is a perfect example of why the English language provides for our use the expression "Get a room." People are looking. People are staring. People are not pleased. PEOPLE ARE POINTING! The bartenders response? X and Y get cutt off. Y's response? She flashes her tits at the bar. X and Y were asked to leave. They left.
So my boyfriend and I remained as we were there to sing Karaoke, right? I performed an outstanding version of "She Works Hard for the Money" and "I love Rock and Roll". And my boyfriend "Runaround Sue".
We decide to head out to another bar. As we leave I look 3 blocks down the street and see cop lights. Lots and lots of cop lights. At first I tried to convince myself that someone had gotten pulled over for speeding or something. But something also told me to check it out "just in case" as these cop cars were parked right outside my cottage. I also caughta glimpse of an ambulance...never a good thing. 2 blocks away and I knew this werent no speeding ticket. I approach my house and am greeted by about 50 fucking cops and an EMT crew. So it turns out that on the way home from "Girls Gone Wild" X and Y wiped out on the sidewalk. Badly. X and Y are now sitting on my porch, beligerant incomprehensible and bloody. X is in his boxer shorts with his head cut up. Y has poured chardonay into the plastic cup which the paramedic had supplied for X to drink sterile water. X is cussing the cops out as he wants to carry on drinking. MAyhem! Mayhem had befallen me. Oh and did I mention Gordon thought it was a hoot to take pictures? (Thanks Gord! )
Basically, I saw red. The maroon..then a slight shade of rosey pink. But after an hour or so of the paramedics attempting to convince X to go to the emergency room to no avail...They dispersed. X and Y eventually went to sleep.
An hour passes and I hear sirens again. Across the street. But this time NOT, I repeat, NOT for us. I peer outside and the house across the street is exhuming smoke out the front door. I said hello again to the cops who had just been to our house 60 minutes before and was informed that the neigbhors were drunk and fell asleep with the oven on. Pfft. What kind of people do THAT?
So Gordon heres that old shirt a flappin in the wind.